It's Time!
by SisiDraig - 2
Summary: WTPCIASW 1st of the xmas sequels - that's right, there's more than one - i can only apologise for that! -- Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house rang the screams of a woman. “VINWARD! IT’S TIME!” ONE SHOT


**D/C: NO!**

**A/N: And so begin the xmas fics...**

* * *

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house rang the screams of a woman.

"VINWARD! IT'S TIME!"

Vinward had leapt out of bed like a frog on a pogo stick. He'd been prepared for this moment for almost three quarters of a year. He had everything ready. He even had a mobile phone with the a text to his family saved in drafts. He picked up the phone and pushed send.

--

Jones' phone buzzed loudly. He tried to ignore it. He tried to concentrate on Dan above him. This _really _wasn't the time to read a text but his head kept turning to the phone anyway. Dan reached down and held Jones' face to look at him but his eyes still slid sideways.

"Fuck this," growled Dan, getting up angrily and stomping from the room.

"But what if it's important," moaned Jones, leaping up and snatching his phone from the bedside table and opening the text.

"Someone better be on the brink of death or being kidnapped," Dan shouted back loudly, "if it's one of your DJ pals telling you about some kinda shit …"

"Where are you?" Jones asked, his voice sounded strange so Dan chose not to give some sarcastic comment and actually answered the question.

"Bathroom."

Jones ran in, looked at the scene ahead of him, shook his head and said, "Put yourself away Dan, it's time!"

"Now? Right fucking now?"

"Right fucking now," Jones grinned back.

--

Richmond's phone went off in his pocket, throwing Cradle of Filth into the silent room. His eyes snapped open and he pulled the old Nokia 3310 from his tight black jeans. **One New Message.** Open. **From Vinward; It's time!** Richmond read the message. Then he read it again and again before concluding;

"Well that's just bloody inconsiderate, right in the middle of my Christmas Eve meditating."

--

Vince had virtually read the message before it had arrived. He was prepared for this too. Not in the obsessive, perfectionist way his son was but emotionally he'd been ready for this moment for a long time. He thumped Howard in the stomach with a cushion.

"Wake up small eyes," he grinned, "it's time."

--

Jones and Dan got there before even Vinward and Lauren arrived. It was because Jones drove like a nutcase and refused to believe that the red on traffic lights was for him as well as everyone else. Dan just got out of the car, took a medicinal sip of whiskey and slumped down on the step of the building. Then they were waiting for the rest of the world to catch up with Jones.

"Dan, don't do that. You look homeless sat down there."

"I like homeless people. They're not pretentious. They just get on with things, like real men. There's none of this clothes, fashion, music rubbish. And there's no technology to ruin their fucking …."

"Their fucking what?"

"Fucking."

Jones looked at him for a second and asked,

"Are you annoyed at me?"

Dan glared back as though Jones had asked the stupidest question on the planet. And perhaps he had.

"It's not my fault," Jones insisted, "blame the bump."

It was a good five minutes before Vinward pulled up. His car came up the car park, wheels slipping and sliding in the ice until he reached the building. He pulled on the handbrake, blocking anything that needed to get past and leapt out of the car. He ran round to the passenger side all uncoordinated and frantic. Jones said Vinward looked like a panicked stick insect, Dan told Jones he was an idiot.

And then, huffing and breathing in weird ooo ooo hee hee patterns, Lauren hauled herself out of the car. She was doubled over around her enormous stomach and was taking tiny baby steps. Her hair was stuck to her forehead and she hissed with every move she made. Jones went to help her because Vinward was … where was Vinward? And Dan offered to drive the car to a space.

"You can't drive," Jones reminded him as he and Lauren neared the entrance to the building.

"How hard can it be?"

"Harder than you think you dickhead," Jones shot back as Dan turned the windscreen wipers on.

"Dan, get out of the car."

"JONES!" bellowed Lauren, "will you concentrate on getting me to the hospital please. I need the drugs. Get me the drugs."

At that second, Vinward appeared with a wheelchair and before Jones had even blinked, he'd pushed Lauren into it and taken off indoors. Jones turned to look at Dan, who was staring in confusion and the mess of buttons and leavers ahead of him.

"Move," he demanded, "I'll park the car."

--

Jones got to the maternity ward and he almost laughed when he saw Dan and Vinward. They looked remarkably similar, both slumped forward, chewing their nails nervously. Except every now and then, Dan would take a sip of his hidden whiskey and Vinward would leap up to assault a nurse with questions.

"Why can't you go in Vin?" Jones asked, settling himself by Dan.

"You know what's I'm like with blood and surgery and…" he shuddered dramatically, "Remember the time at the park when you fell off the swings."

Jones shuddered. He could hardly forget that, they'd been about eight. His knee had split open and he'd cried his eyes out. He'd remembered Vinward (and Dad Howard) running off to the bushes to be sick. And he remembered Richmond standing over him staring at the blood. In his memory, Jones sees Richmond lick his lips but Vince and Richmond both claim that didn't happen. Apparently Richmond simply put a plaster on it but Jones still wasn't sure.

--

Vinward was a bit fed-up now. He kept looking at the door anxiously, wondering what was going on the other side. He was sure it would all be fine, lots of screaming and… well he didn't know what but he was sure it would be fine. Jones had disappeared ages ago. Now and again he'd scootpast in a wheelchair but now Dan had disappeared too and Vinward could only guess where they'd got too.

"Oh _there _you are," Vince cried, "this place is ridiculous. We got more information out of the broom than the nurses. And these two," he glared and Jones and Dan as they appeared scuffing their feet embarresedly, "well…"

"Jones, where've you been?" Vinward asked.

Jones shrugged and gave his brother back his car keys. Vinward just looked at them, then at the two men.

"You're text stopped us getting any this morning," Jones said a little sheepishly. Not sheepishly enough, in everyone's opinion.

"In my car?" Vinward asked, "in my fucking car?" He stood up as though to hit Jones but the smaller man just grinned a little, ducking behind his mammoth boyfriend, who said calmly,

"That's how Lauren got pregnant, isn't it?"

"JONES!" cried Vinward, trying to dart around Dan, "I told you that in CONFIDENCE!"

"And you should have guessed I'd tell Dan. Come on Vin, that's the most exciting thing you've ever done in your life." Jones giggled, dodging and twirling out of Vinward's grasp.

Vince watched shaking his head. It was like Christmas morning all over again, Jones and Vinward fighting over who'd broken who's present first, dodging around the Christmas tree until one of them would climb under the tree and would take the short cut, usually knocking the whole thing to the ground. The worst thing was it had still happened last year.

"What's going on?" Howard asked, when he arrived. He was looking a little worse for wear. He really hadn't been equipped to deal with what he'd seen on the back seat of Vinward's car and Vince wasn't sure Howard would ever recover.

"Nothing, they're just fighting," Vince sighed as Vinward caught Jones' arm and thumped him on the shoulder hard. Jones' face screwed up a little and he rubbed his arm, burying himself into Dan's side like a wounded child. It wasn't that long before Leroy and Rachael turned up.

"How's it going?" Rachael asked, fidgeting nervously.

"We're not sure. We seem to have been waiting forever but _someone,_" Jones shot a look at Vinward, "won't go in the room."

"Shut up," Vinward moaned, threatening to punch Jones again. This the time Jones was ready and kicked Vinward in the shins before running off.

"Honestly, you're twenty five. Act your age," Howard hissed as Vinward leapt up to get Jones back.

"I'm sure you could go in Rach," said Vince.

--

They seemed to be waiting hours and hours. Richmond had arrived eventually, though no one had seem him get there. Vinward just looked up at one point and saw Richmond sat on the end of the row of seats.

"How long have you been there?"

"Long enough," the goth replied in his monotone way.

--

Time dragged on and on until Jones, reached up from his place slumped against Dan to kiss him and say Merry Christmas.

"You're kidding," Vinward said looking at his watch.

"Nope," sighed, heaving himself up and kissing Vinward on the cheek "Merry Christmas. Hope you like the present I've got you, it's a son slash daughter."

"Thanks Jones," Vinward smiled as the rest of the season's greetings were said.

It wasn't long after that Rachael came out of the room, beaming with pride and announced a child had been born. The entire family pushed their way into the tiny room. Vince rang Bollo and Naboo, both who'd been told they couldn't come into the hospital for hygiene reasons and let them know that the baby was born and then followed his family into the room.

Lauren looked exhausted. She was sweating and bright red and her eyes could barely stay open but in her arms she held a tiny baby.

"It's a girl," she panted, "which is good, there're enough men in this family already."

"She's beautiful," Vinward beamed, kissing his wife and then his daughter on the forehead.

"She gets it from her mother then," grinned Jones cheekily, "or her soon to be favourite Uncle." He tickled her cheek gently.

"How do you know I won't be her favourite uncle?" Richmond asked indignantly.

"Because you'd probably try and introduce her to Cradle of Filth, whereas I'm gonna spoil her rotten with sweets and pretty dresses and…"

"I could be her favourite uncle," Dan cut in. Jones just barked a dismissive laugh and continued with his list of ways in which he would spoil his niece.

"I don't like it," Vince was moaning to Howard. "I really don't like it."

"What's up Dad?" Vinward asked.

"I'm not happy being a Grandfather. I'm not old enough. I'm not like Howard. He's looked like a grandfather forever…"

"Oi!"

"…I'm not sure I can rock the OAP-chic."

"I don't like the idea either." agreed Leroy.

"You two are pathetic," laughed Rachael. "Just look how beautiful your grandaughter is and stop whinging."

--

"What are you going to name her?" Richmond asked after about an hour of cooing. Of course he would be the one to ask the practical question.

"Something Christmassy," Lauren smiled. She was slumped against Vinward, the baby still clutched tightly in her arms.

"Like Jesus?" Jones asked.

"Jones shut up," growled Vinward.

"What?"

"People don't call there kids Jesus."

"We met a Jesus in Spain, didn't we Dan? D'you remember him?"

"Jesús." Dan said shortly. He did not need to think about that stupid, plastic-perfect waiter at the hotel who Jones had taken a fancy to and more annoyingly had taken a fancy to Jones _and _Dan. He certainly didn't want to think about what that had nearly led to.

"That's a man's name anyway," Richmond said, trying to detract from the obvious tension that had just been built up.

"Rudolph?" said Lauren.

"No," Vinward flatly refused. He didn't change his mind, not even when Jones and Vince joined with Lauren to say it was a great name.

"Pixie?" was the next suggestion. Then;

"Fairy?" And;

"Snow?"

"How about a sensible suggestion?" Vinward said.

"They were sensible," protested Jones.

"What about Noël?" Richmond suddenly said.

"They want something Christmassy idiot," Jones said.

"Noël is French for Christmas," Richmond said slowly. He was used to speaking slowly around his family.

"I really like it," said Lauren. "It's kinda sophisticated and classy. Like me."

Vinward looked at her in disbelief before announcing, "You're about as classy as McDonalds," which earned him a sharp slap on the leg.

--

Lauren and Noël Pixie Rudolph (because Lauren always got her own way) Noir-Moon weren't going to be allowed out until boxing day and the nurses came around to force the families out eventually.

As they were leaving, Vinward pulled Jones, Richmond and Dan aside.

"Look, I was just wondering if you three would consider being Noël's godfathers."

"Are you sure about that?" Dan asked.

Vinward smiled a little, "Yeah," he said. "I'm just gonna hope to god that nothing happens to me or Lauren."

"I'd be delighted." Richmond nodded.

"Wicked. I'll be the best godfather ever," Jones beamed before admitting he didn't know what a god father did.

Vinward just laughed and hugged his brothers.

"Just give her the best childhood, like you gave me, yeah?"

"That, I can do." Jones grinned.

"Great. Right, Merry Christmas then."

"Merry Christmas."

"Pointless Holiday."

"Oh Daaaaan! Cheer up."

"Fine, Merry Christmas. Better?"

"You could have said it without the scowl but yeah, it'll do."

* * *

**MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!  
XX**


End file.
